The holidays were great, but fast this year. I wished you all a Merry Christmas before, so now I guess its time for a, albeit belated, Happy New Year! And what a NEW year it will be! New obviously being the key word here. It seems that everything will become new this year. A whole new life and way of doing things. Lots of firsts, changes, challenges, and hopefully joys as well. Come the end of March and I should be licensed to receive Foster Care placements. I’ll have a new routine, with new people, new responsibilities, new struggles, new fears, new joys, new fun, and new ways of doing just about everything.
I've had many people ask me, “So, are you excited, or nervous, or what?” My answer was “Yes!” I’m all of the above! I’m excited and scared to death at the same time. I know it will be hard. And not just the parenting part. There are so many rules and regulations to follow and someone always there looking over your shoulder to make sure you aren't screwing it up. On one hand that is scary and makes me uncomfortable in that I can't just parent and make the decisions that I feel are best. On the other hand, it might be good to have those guides and helps in my first attempt at parenting. I don't know. Hopefully it will be as painless as possible. But, back to the question. Yes, I am excited! Yes, I am nervous! Pretty much every emotion you can think of has come at some point. I just have to keep focused on why I'm doing this and trust that God will work out the details.
Another question I've gotten is, "So, where are you in the process?" Well, I'm in a waiting period right now. My application packet has been turned it, my initial meeting survived, fingerprints taken, and background check begun. Now, I sit and wait for training to begin. Had I done the mid-week training schedule, I would already be in training. I chose, however, to do the Saturday schedule and that will begin on February 9th. So, right now there isn't much for me to do...except pray. I've been doing a lot of that. I feel like God may be tiring of my "to-do" list, but I'm really going to need him to make this all workout.
So, that leads to the final topic - how you can pray. Here are things on my mind lately that might help you if you are praying for me.
- Child Care! This is huge. Being a single-parent I'm going to need a lot of help! I've talked to a friend who has experience with the after-school program I was considering & says it is a great one. However, there are still a lot of other instances I will need child care. Please pray that I can find the right people to help fill this need.
- Changes in Licensing Worker. I'm not sure the reasons why or what it means for me, but I have been assigned a new Licensing Worker. Please pray that she is kind, full of grace, and will be a great support to me during this part of the process.
- "My" Child. I was considering a few days back how many people adopting wait for their child to be born. Me, I'm waiting for a child who already exists. And that child, if not in the system yet (or even if they are), may be in a really bad situation. It breaks my heart to imagine what they may be dealing with right now. I pray strength, hope, escape, and healing for them.
- Me. Yeah, I've had a lot of up and down emotions lately about this and I just need to really get refocused and on-top of everything. The down time has had me mentally slacking off a bit on what still needs to be done before I get busy again with training, licensing, etc.
- Home Study. This is to take place after my background check is complete, probably before I finish training. Its an in-depth interview and will make a big impact on how things move forward. Pray that I am able to just be me and that that is enough.
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