Behaviors

Last week I posted about points of focus and prayer in my life lately. However, one thing was left off that list. It was unintentional but, I guess it just wanted it's own little post! So, here ya go!

As I make my way through the application packet and begin to put pen to paper there are two areas that I'm really praying about. They are essentially the same general topic, but are separated out on two different forms. The topic is the child - who they are and what behaviors they demonstrate.

The first is to list out general details of the child. I tell them the age, sex, number, race, etc of children I would be willing to take. This is a question that I have thought a lot about in recent months and so this one was relatively  easy. I have a good idea of what I am open to, and then a wider second layer to discuss with the agency.

The other is a full sheet of "Behaviors you believe you can handle." I am supposed to "just" circle all of the behaviors I think I can handle and would be willing to take in a child. You may think this would be a relatively easy task to complete, but I'm finding it is not so simple. I understand that each child has different issues with which they have to deal, and I have my own limitations which I have to face as well. I guess it just feels odd to be "picking out" the behaviors my child will have. But, I also would like to note that the list of behaviors is all "negative" behaviors. It's not like I can say, "I want the most beautiful, smartest, healthiest child you've got!" No, not at all! I'm choosing between behaviors/characteristics such as Fighting, Bed-wetting, running away, being an illegitimate child, tantrums, being messy, having bad personal care habits, etc.  Sure, some of the behaviors are easy for me to circle or not. For example, I know I can handle a child that is quiet and a bit of a wallflower, but that I cannot take a severely handicapped child. Some behaviors I would like to be able to say yes to, but as a single-woman working full-time, its just not possible. (This is where doubts and guilt enter.) Then there are other behaviors listed that were a bit more complicated. On a couple I have gone back and forth as to the best answer for me and the child. I wish that there was an explanation or scale attached with each behavior listed. And by scale I mean, does this child just tantrum sometimes or have severe tantrums, the majority of the time? Things like that will make a difference in feeling that I am capable of being the best fit for them or not. I also realize that each child will be placed on a case-by-case basis and matched individually when that time comes. This questionnaire is more of a general survey from which to work. Even still, I feel it is especially important that I fully consider each of these things and my ability to bring them into my life. I want to make the best choice, but am struggling on what exactly that is. I think I need to remember this comment I heard on the subject:

Recognize your limitations and don’t feel guilty. This is a strength and will be most beneficial for the child.

My agency worker informed me that any questions can be discussed at my in-home orientation. So, I will definitely be discussing certain behaviors with her. For now, I will mark what I am confident in, pray about the others, and try to understand more about what my limitations might be.