Mail & Sale

Hey all! Today I got the official phone call about my license. My LW (licensing worker) called to inform me that all criteria has been met, all training completed, and that it has all processed in the system. She said that she would finish the process necessary to get it in the mail, but that I should have my license in hand in about 2 weeks! She said, after that, she will start calling about respite placements! So folks, my license is in the mail!

I also wanted to share with you about the Garage/Bake/Craft sale my family is hosting. We have locked down a location! It isn't where I originally had planned, but it will be a great location. Also, we NEED donations of sale items!!! Check your closets, garages, and sheds for anything you would be willing to part with or happened upon during Spring Cleaning! Whether you (or your friends/family) have one item or a whole carload of stuff, please contact me so that I can help arrange a pick-up or drop-off. Here is the info for the sale. Please note: Those times are approx & not set in stone yet. Spread the word & be sure to mark your calendars to come out and support us!

PRIDE: The End

27 hours in class, over five weeks, and my PRIDE Training is complete! 

The final session started off with a "panel." It was only two people, so it wasn't quite what I expected. One was a Placement Worker and talked a million miles per hour. When we asked questions, she did well answering, but she had her infant with her and seemed more interested in getting out of there. The other woman was from the health side of the team. She came more prepared, with folders full of info and paperwork for us. She didn't talk much, though. Both were beneficial, but I wish they had more prepared material and time to present it. After they left, we had some discussion and open question and answer with our trainers. 

So, how has all of this training affected my attitude, understanding, and feelings about foster care? Well, going in I was both excited and scared about becoming a foster parent. Coming out, I'm more scared and less excited. That sounds bad, but let me explain. I got the truth from people that have done it for years. I heard the horror stories and saw the children in the system brought to life. In almost every class our trainers would start to tell a story or explain something, stop, look at the other trainer, and while half laughing say, "we're going to scare them all away!" There was something in every session that could scare people away. So, while some of my fears changed (some increased & some decreased), my overall level of fear remained about the same. And, I am still excited about being a positive part of a child's life, if only momentarily. I just don't know if "excited" is the right word for how I feel about the experience as a whole. How can you be excited about children being abused & neglected? How can you be excited about that child being taken from their family, friends, school, pets, favorite teddy bear, & special blankey to go live with strangers in a strange place? How can you be excited about red tape and adults who sometimes forget that the best interests of the children are the priority? How can you be excited about a child who strives to fit in and be good, but is so hurt emotionally and developmentally behind that they just can't keep up? How can you be excited about hurting children who can't trust and won't let you love them (because they don't even know what that should look like)? How can you be excited about children you can't tell, "Don't worry, you are safe here." because they  have no understanding of what "safe" is? I may be more scared, but I am also more motivated. This is going to be the most important, difficult, and rewarding job I will ever do. I'm eager to try to make a difference in the lives of these children and pray for the wisdom to know how to do that.

This brings me to another conversation I remember. Many foster parents go in like me. They want to help the  children and know its going to be hard, but as our trainers said,

"If someone has never been a foster parent themselves, then they have NO idea what you are going through. They canNOT understand what you are dealing with as a foster parent."

The problem that arises is that, because your friends and family can't fully understand, foster parents are sometimes left without the support they really need. Apparently they are often faced with the, "Well, you knew what you were getting into" and a lack of sympathy for your feelings. First off, as our trainers said, we really don't know what we are getting into. We understand it the best we can without actually doing it. And, we do know that it is going to be hard, emotional, stressful, and heartbreaking at times. But, that doesn't mean that we, I, won't need support in that moment. Luckily, I have great family and friends and don't expect that those closest to me would react in this way, but I just thought I'd share anyway. I thought I would ask in advance that when that time comes, and it will, when I am weary, stressed, and heartbroken over a child, that you will support me for where I am in that moment. I will need your grace, your prayers, and maybe your shoulder (or ear) to cry on. But, I also hope to be able to celebrate with you over the good times and rewarding moments. 

Moving on, I can't believe I have made it this far in the journey. It was almost a year ago that I finalized my decision to start down this path. I begin sharing my journey, fundraising, and gathering as much information as possible. I read books, listened to podcasts, and sought out contacts online. Its crazy to think it has been so long! In approximately three weeks I will have my license in hand and be open to start taking respite placements. 

My mind is kind of all over the place tonight, so I'm going to stop here. I just had one other thing I wanted to share before I go though. 

I have realized the need to do one more fundraiser. I've done two others (a basket raffle in KS and a garage sale here), but those funds have been exhausted. They were used to help prepare the house and went to things such as Carbon Monoxide detectors, Smoke detectors, fixed a damaged wall, new lighting fixture, dresser, outlet covers, curtains, blinds, socks, etc, etc. The funds I hope to raise will cover the start-up costs when a child is placed. The first check from the state won't arrive until a month or two after placement. The kids usually come with little to nothing, especially if it is their first time in the system. I will need to buy all appropriate clothing, school supplies, shoes, and anything else that child needs. Also, childcare during that month or two will have to come out of my pocket. The only thing that won't come out of pocket initially is anything medical. I will receive their medical card at time of placement. SO....time for another fundraiser! 

My family in KS has graciously offered to host a garage/bake/craft sale for me. We are aiming for Saturday, April 27th. The location is still pending, but Plan A is in my hometown, which you all know. (Can you tell I've got privacy on my mind? Maybe I'll write about that next time.)

So, Kansas people, please mark that day on your calendars and try to come out and support me! Also, we need sale donations! The more we have to sell, the more we can raise. Please check your closets, garages, and sheds for anything you would be willing to donate to our sale. (Or, if you have a crafty hand & want to make something to sell- that is welcomed too!) I know we all have stuff that we want to get out of our house and just don't know what to do with. Well, you can kill two birds with one stone: spring cleaning and helping a a good cause! Even if it is just one item, we will take it! Please leave a comment, email me, or message me on Facebook if you would like to donate and I will help to arrange the details to make that happen. Thanks!

PRIDE: Part 4

Another week and another six hours of training is in the books. This means there is only 3 hours left before I will have completed my required Foster Parent Training! It’s a bit crazy how quickly these 5 weeks have come and go. Well, 4 weeks…one week to gone. Anyway, as you all know from my previous posts, I’ve been learning a lot. And, as you can imagine, I’m learning & hearing much more than I share here. All of the book reading, personal stories of our trainers, videos, etc that we discuss in class have brought up a lot of different thoughts and emotions. I will try to explain a bit of that with this week’s update on Saturday’s class and where I am in the process currently.

Let’s start with this week’s class. This past Saturday was a bit different than the previous classes in that we had A LOT more discussion and personal stories of the trainers. Essentially what happened is we would start to cover something in the material and it would spark a question in someone. That was then answered by the trainers, sometimes with a personal story from their experience, and then that would spark another question and then another. 30 minutes later we would make our way back to the actual material and our trainer would say, well, we basically already covered this section by all of your questions and conversation!  Despite all that talking we did cover a lot of information. The first session was about what we, as Foster Parents, can do in helping the child transition either back to their biological family or to an adoptive one. It outlined our role in helping them to achieve permanency in the most positive way possible.

The second session was about ‘Planning for Change.’ We discussed how our lives would change once a foster child was brought into the picture. (I already miss my weekend naps!) More importantly, though, we discussed how to make an informed decision when asked to take a placement (child). Taking a placement is a big deal. The hope is that a child can stay in one placement as long as possible during their time in the system. This prevents them from having to move from home to home, and all that goes along with that. We reviewed all of the different questions we might want to ask when we receive “The Call.” Things such as information about the child’s physical & emotional health, any developmental or behavioral issues, placement history, permanency plan, and things about their daily life, including likes/dislikes, etc. If the child has been in the system for a while, they will be able to answer all of your questions. If the child is new in the system, they probably don't know anything about them. The problem that arises in these situation is that you generally have to give an answer right then & there on the phone. You see, each agency only has 2 hours to place that child. If you can't answer right away, they have to call the next person on the list so that they can meet their deadline for finding that child a home. They assured us that we should never feel bad or guilty for saying no or asking too many questions. There will, unfortunately, always be another call.

So, with only one class left you may be wondering what comes next. Well, here is a tentative schedule:

• March 9^th – PRIDE 9 (last training class)
• Once training is complete, they will enter that information into the computer system.
• My Licensing Worker (LW) will then receive confirmation that all requirements are complete.
• My LW will call to schedule a final walk-through of the home.
• If walk-through is approved, I will receive my license in the mail within 2 weeks.
• Once licensed, I will officially enter the system and be able to receive placements.

So close! I can't believe it is almost that time!

There is something else I wanted to share. After some thought, prayer, and discussion with my LW, I have decided to postpone any "real" placements for a month or two after licensing. This may be confusing for some of you, but I have some "time" issues that need to slightly improve before being able to take a full-time placement. Does this mean I will be licensed for no reason during this time? Absolutely not. There is a great need for Respite Care and I am going to serve in that capacity. Respite Care is child care provided by your agency for when Foster Parents just need a break, so they don't burn-out. It is generally a Saturday morning to Sunday evening thing. I have discussed this need with my LW and she seemed very positive about the idea of me doing only weekend respite care for the first month or two. There is a need for it, and if I'm willing, then that is great. This can, obviously, change at any time, but is the plan we are moving forward with right now. (I did mention to her that if a "perfect match" came about I would be willing to alter this plan.) Respite Care can be difficult as the kids don't know you, your house, or your rules and are only staying 2 days. Please pray that this time will be beneficial for me in getting my feet wet with how everything really works before taking a full-time placement of my own.

Well, I think that is it for this week. Licensing is only a couple of weeks away and I couldn't have made it this far without all of your prayers and support! Thanks!